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Jake asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

Is my father a toxic parent?

In my opinion, he is and I want to distance myself from him.  He’s said terrible things, made me afraid and fearful many times, and used horrible “biblical-like” examples to try and make me “reconsider” when instead it made me feel worse about myself.  Im a Transgender Male, and I thought he disliked me enough for being lesbian.  Damn was I wrong.  Our server at a restaurant accidentally called me a gentlemen and when my dad mentioned it I was so excited about it that I said I liked it in front of him.  He forced me to come out the next day.  I explained my feelings but he couldn’t give a **** about them and blew me off because “It isn’t right.  Like how murderers like to kill people even though it’s not right.” (yes I’m not exaggerating his quote).  He always made me feel terrible for being trans and gay especially since he’s said horrible things in the past about the LGBTQ+ community before he even knew I identified with that community.  Thankfully he keeps his mouth shut more often about gender identity and sexuality when I’m around.  One night we got into an argument and he grabbed both sides of my head, pinned me to the bed, screamed at me, and threatened to beat me before yelling at me to get out of the house.  I’ve never trusted him ever since, and he knows it even though he tried to apologize to me a couple minutes after it happened.  But sometimes, he seems nice.  However he’s a dick 80% of the time and I know his true feelings towards who I am as a person.

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  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    "Toxic"?  That's a pretty strong word, but it comes close to what he's been saying and doing.  It's very hard for a parent to accept that their child's sexuality is far from the norm, but I think you'd be better off if you didn't have to live in the same household as he does.

    • Jake1 month agoReport

      Thank you I appreciate your response.  I’ve been thinking the same thing.  I bet it is really hard and I’m willing to explain it to him but he never wants to listen with his biblical mindset.  Hopefully I’ll be able to move out soon since I’m almost 18.  Again, thank you for the explanation.

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  • OTTO
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    Sounds like he's having a hard time accepting reality.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    There's 2 sides to every story.

  • Remy
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    sounds like he is.

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