promotion image of download ymail app
Promoted
Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

Wife hates sex. ?

Married 14 years. Sex life is almost non-existant. She admits she has always hated having sex, not only with me but with her late husband. She says its only necessary for couples who are trying to have kids. I pretty much have to beg, and then its like a chore for her. Most of the time she just lays there and lets me do it. No emotion, just the hurry up and get it over with look. She told me last week that she understands that men need it more than women do and  if I wanted to go out and "find some" somewhere else, she was fine with it. I love her and the rest of our marriage is actually good. I'm afraid I will eventually take her up on her offer or leave all together. 

29 Answers

Relevance
  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Thats a tricky situation to be in. Sometimes women just say things they don't really mean, so I would have a serious discussion about it first before you go off and find someone else, after all you are married to her. I understand you love your wife, she must be a great person since you decided to make her your wife. The issue you described is very common especially after 14 years of marriage, so my best advice to you is to seek professional help first. If this does not help the situation and you really feel that sex is important to you, talk to her again about the offer she made. 

    If she 100% agrees with it, only then would I decide to go do something like that. 

    I take marriage very seriously so its important in my opinion that you do all you can before you give up on your wife. 

    Also, please keep in mind that your marriage will most likely end in divorce even if she allows you to sleep with someone else. It is not the best thing to do while married to someone else.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • lover
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    talk to her, try long foreplay

    • lover
      Lv 4
      1 month agoReport

      whats hapened you still talking

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • car253
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Have her seek professional help, counseling, alone.    Let her find out what her real issues are.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 2 months ago

    Some 99% of wives don't love it, and probably around 3/4 of them hate having to put out.  They seem to 'love' it up until they get the proposal.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 2 months ago

    Has she ever thought that she might be asexual? It wouldn’t mean that she didn’t want to be married to you or find you attractive or love the life she has with you. From what I understand about it, it just mean she doesn’t get the pleasure or desire to have sex like others do. 

    It's mostly based on sex drive. A lot of asexuals don’t know that their is actually a name for it, especially the women and men that are asexual in the older generations, it’s not something that has been talked a lot about.

    As far as having an open relationship goes. If that’s something your okay with then talk to her about it and what exactly she would be okay with if that were to happen and how much she wants to know. And if your not sure how you feel about it then you  should still talk about it in case you do decide to go with it. She might not want it to be a spur of the moment decision that she isn’t a part of or she might want it to be a planed conscious decision and a quick hook up that you’ll never see again. 

    Definitely cover everything so nothing blows up. If you decide against it now, and then something happens and one thing leads to another and you decide to go along with it, then you want to make sure that it is in the scope of what she thanks is healthy for your relationship, so it won’t cause problems. And make sure that she would be okay with you just changing your mind on a whim like that. 

    If she is asexual, and you are both making the decision together and you are both sure that you are comfortable, then a specific situation and relationship might not be considered cheating in yours and your wife’s eyes. 

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Sorry about your situation man, you have my sympathies,,been there-done that, but if it helps you feel any better it isn't cheating when a wife dislikes sex so much that she actually gives a husband permission to "get some" elsewhere.

    But you KNOW it's a Trap right?

    So, tell her you want it in writing, and as long as the frigid hag has given you official written permission, just be discreet & whatever you do DON'T give her the satisfaction of knowing anything about it!                                                                                                                        Because as long as that's the way she is then it's none of her damned business anymore than when she makes you have to purge your urges with the frkn bathroom door locked!  

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 2 months ago

    that sucks, do you have a question?

    • nic2 months agoReport

      Umm...he’s trying to figure out how he should go about this? He’s asking for advice...

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 2 months ago

    Did she pretend to like sex when you met her? Or did you find that out after marriage?

    Either way, she has zero sexual desire and that is a huge problem because you are forced to be celibate or to step out of your marriage for sexual bratification. The latter of which can get pretty messy (pregnancy, you or your lover could fall in love, STD's, jealousy, resentment and a host of other issues that could lead to a messy divorce...initiated by you or your wife).

    You have to decide, celibacy or divorce. Pick one.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 2 months ago

      For most women it’s difficult to be good spouses because they have never been taught about it .. all they have heard from liberals is that they can do whatever they please such as aborting kids , using a man for money , divorcing him , etc .

    For men is way easier to be good spouses because ironically , our liberal society expects men to be moral so our liberal society punishes men who abandon their kids , cheat on their wives , abuse their wives etc . Now I’m glad that “ at least” liberals encourage men to be moral human beings . But they truly hurt women by encouraging them to be immoral .. Only women who aren’t brainwashed by liberal ideology are able to be good wives and mothers but unfortunately a great percentage of women are brainwashed by such diabolical ideology.

    It’s pretty sad 😞 if a woman hates making love with the man she chose as a husband . I will pray for her to change her attitude .. I hope she stops talking you for granted . Thank you for not considering the horrible option of being unfaithful to your wife . 

    God bless you and your family.

  • Helen
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    It sounds like she might be asexual.

    Only you can decide whether the rest of your marriage is good and important enough to forego a decent sex life, or whether a decent sex life is right now more important to you than your marriage.

    • Nickname
      Lv 4
      2 months agoReport

      Rape trauma also cases hate and avoidance of sex, as well as dissociation. It’s more practical to claim that she is assexual, than to voice the consequences of what males do to women when they force them into sex or use them for sex 

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • kristy
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    Dump her already

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.