Found out my husband has been watching porn....?
My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years recently I had ask him if he’s been watching porn in which he lied and said no and I then told him I know he was in which he admitted he was . I was devastated and hurt. I know it’s something that men do but it was just hurtful to find out . We’ve been having sex at least 3-4 times a week and I asked him why he would be watching and his answer is “I was horny” which I then told him”okay” I the asked him how often he’s watching and he said every other day or every 3 days or so. In which I was shocked, I asked him what’s the reason he started watching and he says he doesn’t know. Honestly he’s always on about my weight in which I must admit I did gain some weight after having our 2 kids but not so much into where I would be considered super fat just chubby. He makes me feel very insecure and that’s why this hurts me the most because I know the girls in porn are pretty and fit. He’s like I tell you , you should work out with me and do activity’s with him. I don’t know how to go on about this situation.. what do you guys think I can say or do. I’m just hurt please easy on the comments .
- Coach SimonLv 72 months agoFavorite Answer
While watching porn does seem rather disrespectful of him, it is important to remember that men put love and sex into separate compartments far more easily than most women do. He is very probably not making comparisons with you: he makes love with you because he loves you. He might take you out to an expansive restaurant for food prepared by an expert professional chef, but that doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy the meals you lovingly cook for him (or vice versa) - or even compare them. Nor do men like discussing things the way most women do. Women usually communicate far better verbally within their relationships than men do. Men can be verbal/emotional cowards! We don't have the confidence to be as open as women are. In a way, his wanting to watch porn - to have a sexual experience - is a compliment to you: he enjoys the sex aspect so much that he wants more!
These are just ideas for you to consider - and perhaps even discuss with him.
- Barb OuthereLv 72 months ago
You know you have gained weight and that he doesn't find that attractive. He has offered to work out with you. Why not do that then you won't have to feel insecure?
Yes I know people will say "He should love me unconditionally", and it is still possible he does - but love is not always the same as sexual attraction. And there's the point.
- PatriciaLv 72 months ago
You're kidding, right? You were devastated and hurt because the guy is doing what every other guy on earth has been doing for ages? It's their basic nature. Males are visual sexual creatures, and if you didn't know it, masturbation is a life-long habit for all males. Your guy, your dad, and every other male you have ever known. Great sex life or no sex life, they masturbate. It's just natural, and their primal nature.
Guys masturbate for all sorts of reasons -- just because they can, because they feel like it, they don't have anything else to do, or their partner isn't around. OR they don't feel like expending the physical energy to have sex.
Porn is adult entertainment and guys use that for masturbation. It has nothing to do with their partners at all. It's not about you, not about your weight, it's just about getting a release. It's just a natural thing.
There's nothing wrong with you. The man LOVES YOU. Just leave it alone. Honestly, he's not comparing you to anyone else. You two seem to have a good sex life.
Don't be hurt about a man's sexual nature. They are men. It's what they do. again it is NOT ABOUT you.
Honestly it's not. You can probably research this stuff online to get more info too. Men are men... they are not like us.
- Anonymous2 months ago
I would kindly suggest losing some weight, like maybe 50 pounds or so. Or you could try to actually do stuff for him. I can tell you, as kindly as possible, why he is watching porn. But you won't listen, so what does it matter. The fact that you are hurt by this revelation shows everything that needs to be seen.
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- HelenLv 72 months ago
90% of men watch porn. (The other 10% are lying!)
- 2 months ago
Really, a little pron should be the least of your worries right now. With this lock down, do you know how many times I've had to watch pron?
Too much wife time! And she's good looking, not fat.
Give your dude a little space and that includes watching the pron since you probably been breathing down his neck this whole time.