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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

im aware my bf is controlling but idk what to do ?

im 19 year old female and my boyfriend is 20 we been together for a year and i love him so much and i know he loves me too. i can see some of his behavior is off but idk if hes doing it out of such strong love for me or if hes being possessive / controlling , mind you this is my first love really.  within the first 2 months of seeing eachother he already told me he loved me so he took my phone and blocked about 100 guys in total from all social medias. then the next month he made me delete my twitter and instagram. then the next month he started to tell me i cant go to certain places around town because he doesnt want men to see me. he gets kinda annoyed anytime im out with my friends or sisters so he told me i have to tell him anytime i leave my house and where im going and who im with. recently he told me im not allowed to go out with my friends a lot and if i do he placed a curfew of 11 for me because “why do i need to when im not being with him or going to school or work “ and with work he says im not allowed to work at certain restaurants and im not allowed to work at the mall either. i just dont know if hes doing all this because he really loves me and doesnt want anything to happen to me or what. will he start being worse? has anyone gone through this before? please idk what to do because even though all this happens i just love him so much and i feel like i couldnt be without him. help anyone :( other than those things everything is so beautiful and amazing :( 

19 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    You're aware that he's controlling but here you are still with him and that behavior doesn't change. It's not gonna change even if you leave him because that's the kind of person he is. You already know that he's not good for you and it's sad that things seem beautiful and amazing to you other than that because he's only good to you when he feels like you've listened to everything he's told you to do. If you don't believe me watch. Test him. Break one of his little rules one time and watch how he reacts. Personally i think you know what you need to do but you're dragging your feet because you don't wanna break up with him. But sometimes the hardest things to do are the best things we can do. Hope this helps good luck and pls be careful.

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  • 2 months ago

    I am a man and much older than you. What you describe is the pattern behavior of an abuser. They first start with controlling behavior just like what you describe. They then go on to physical, emotional, and sexual abuse etc. He does NOT love you.You need to break off this relationship immediately. Before long he will start slapping you around and then tell you it was your fault because you made him angry. So get out now! If you don't believe me call up a domestic violence hotline and ask them about your situation. Good luck and get moving.

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  • Raja
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    If you love him so much and feel you cannot live without him learn to tolerate his behavior and live with him.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Please get out, my ex did this to me and it resulted in years of physical and emotional abuse that I’m still recovering from. He tried to kill me. Please if you have any care or love for yourself try to leave! I know how incredibly hard it is but save yourself his behaviors are not okay. 

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  • 2 months ago

    Better either set him straight and get him to a counselor or leave him before things get out of hand and he starts beating on you for everything you do wrong he doesn't like.

    • Fireplace
      Lv 6
      2 months agoReport

      He won't go to a counsellor. I would bet $1000 on it.

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  • mokrie
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I've heard this story a hundred times about different girls and their boyfriends. They all stayed because they "loved" him. They all had their throats cut, beaten to death, strangled, run over, stabbed or shot because a controlling guy like yours eventually snap when they think the girl talked to a guy even though she just said hello. And each and every boyfriend didn't love the girl at all, they wanted to OWN the girl like a slave. If you never listen to anyone ever again listen just this once---LEAVE HIM before he puts you in the hospital. He'd apologize after of course and buy you a present but then he'll do it again and worse. LEAVE. As much as you THINK you love him--he's not the guy for you. Trust me.. you will love again and a much better guy that will want you to be HAPPY and have friends and a life.

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  • 2 months ago
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  • Woh woh woh woh!!!

    2 months of dating and it's "I love you" before your years anniversary?

    Then goes through your phone and blocks all the males you been contacting

    Next, he deletes your social media

    After that, dictates what you wear and when he wants to see you

    Do you think that's love?

    Possessiveness and any kind of controlling behavior in relationships is a clear sign of insecurity. If your partner is possessive, they lack of self-love and self-confidence, and this is because deep down, they feel that they need you in order to be happy, safe, secure, and successful. https://lonerwolf.com/possessive-boyfriend-girlfri...

    I think it is time to sit down with your BF and tell him that his behavior makes you uncomfortable. If he throws a temper tantrum, that is a sign that the worst is to come if you decide to stay.

    I understand he's your first BF but it sounds to me that it won't last.

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  • -
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    Run away, a thousand miles away from this controlling prick. This kind of relationship is not normal. Leave him now!

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  • Cord
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    What a disgusting boy. Tell him to f*ck off and leave him.

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