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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Husband very offended by family’s behaviour. How to deal with it?

My husband seems right in believing that my family doesn’t care about and respect him. Whenever it comes to important achievements or occasions, no one wishes him... for example. He has done a lot for my mom but whenever he saw unfairness he raised his voice against it which has earned him a bad name in the family.

My mom has gone out an spoken to some relatives about him. He has picked up hints and is so angry about it that he doesn’t want to do anything with them.

I understand him completely but how can it be that he cuts all ties with them... it’s our kids also who will lose important relations like granny, aunts n uncles...

To top it, we r having arguments on a daily basis about it. I have called out my mom on it and she says she will make up for it but my husband thinks she will

Never change so no use talking to her about it. It’s giving me a lot of stress coz I feel stuck between the two. I’m also heart broken that my mom has spoilt my image n my husband’s image among family n even neighbours despite the fact that I looked after her for so many years

6 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Sounds like your husband has a short fuse and things very highly of himself and his position in YOUR extended family. That'll always cause problems. So just tell him his issues with your mother are theirs to deal with and that you'll be staying out of it. Explain that you and you kids will be having a relationship with your mom whether his little feelings are hurt or not. If he's trying to separate you from your family that's how you know he's controlling and dangerous.

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  • 1 month ago

    Accept that your husband and your family do not get along, and let him know that they are family so you think it's important for you and the kids to maintain a relationship with them. He doesn't have to participate, except perhaps at major family occasions (such as weddings or funerals), and put your husband and kids first on the major holidays. Let your husband know you understand how he feels, and that you hope in time your family will do more to make him feel more welcome.

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  • 1 month ago

    i would stop seeing them until they change their behavior

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  • Gabe
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    "Stand by your man"

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Both your husband and your mom need to learn when to keep their mouths shut.

    Now is not that time.  Each owes the other an apology.   And quite frankly, you owe your husband an apology too.  

    It is completely inappropriate of you to tolerate your mother and the rest of your family treating your husband so badly.   If I were you, I'd sit them down and point-blank tell them that they do not have to like your husband, but they need to be polite.   And if they can't/won't do that, then they won't be seeing you, him or your children.   Basic decency is a REQUIREMENT if they want a relationship with any of you.   And yes, that goes for how your husband speaks to them too.   as I said, he needs to learn when to keep his mouth shut.  If his opinion isn't asked for, he needs to zip it. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Your mom sounds like a brat. Blatantly disliking and being rude to your husband and putting that pressure on you to choose between them without saying it. How your husband can cut ties with them is he knows he doesn't deserve to be disrespected and they're disrespecting him. You should also care about him and not be so confused as to why he can cut ties with them. It's not good for your kids to see people disrespecting their dad. He probably feels you aren't understanding him and you're trying to make both of them happy but when you try to make everyone else happy the only one who loses is you. Your kids also don't need to be around your relatives if they are toxic and will teach them nothing good.

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