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Wife is hostile?

My wife is always being hostile over the last few months. She says and does things to indicate she is done with the marriage and wants to be left alone but then will act nice when she needs something. She is angry a lot.

E.g. a basic communication today about her buying some jewellery started out ok with her asking if I would buy it for her. I said I would and she snapped and started saying she wants nothing from me and to shut up and leave her alone. Giving me the feeling that she is either emotionally abusing me or trying to constantly indicate she wants divorce.

Yet if she wants divorce, she isn't actively asking me to leave the home or presenting me with papers, asking for mediation or anything else of that nature.

I'm just confused at this point. All communication quickly turns hostile with her. And she won't tell what's on her mind. Certainly appears like she has some grudges and she won't go to counselling unless it's to go to mediation etc. I don't think she would do either. Chinese culture usually don't accept outside help anyway.

What to do??

7 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I know plenty of Chinese women who just go buy themselves the jewelry the want. So if this is the template you've set, where she has to ask you to buy her things it's no wonder she's hostile. The fact that you posted this question on the US version of this site in English tends to indicate that you're not living in China. Therefore cleaving to "Chinese culture" while your marriage falls apart sounds pretty irresponsible to the western mind.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    She is prob is cheating. I am sure she is planning on leaving. I would talk to a lawyer. 

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  • kristy
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Sounds like she is hooked up with someone else.

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  • David
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Is she cheating on you? One major symptom of a cheating spouse is that they will act hostile toward their husband. The reason is, she feels guilt about the cheating, and is trying to justify it. To justify the cheating, she tries to find reasons to be mad at you or fight with you all the time. In a twisted way, it makes the wife feel better about the cheating.

    Or in other words, she feels LESS guilty if you two are not getting along well...so she will act in ways to cause conflicts between you.

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  • 1 month ago

    Marriage is frustrating to say the least.  I completely understand where she is coming from.

    You reach a point in your life where you ask yourself “Is this all there is with life and marriage?”

    How do you answer that question? What new adventures can be had within the confines of marriage?

    Ask yourself these questions.  I did.

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  • I care
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I can only wish to share if she is going through life's changes than just maybe part of her hostile ways or confusing ways.  Talk to her and ask what is up?

    Communicate is the key to finding out what is actually wrong.....

    Sorry so much confusion,  but if marriage is worth trying to at least finding out what is actually happening......best of wishes on finding out,  getting to the bottom of what is happening and why.  

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  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Why are you waiting for her to present you with papers? Based on your questions (for longer than a few months), she didn’t just become hostile, she’s ALWAYS been hostile and abusive. Why YOU don’t file for divorce and remove your son from this situation is beyond me.

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