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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

My boyfriend doesn’t approve of my clothes sometimes, what should I do?

I have known my boyfriend for about 12 years his family and my family are very close, we only became official about 5 months ago

I genuinely don’t think there is a problem with the way I dress. 

For example what he has been vocal about, when it’s summer I wear blue denim shorts that show abit of butt cheek (they rise up when I walk) I wear short dresses with shorts under, tops that show cleavage, and mesh tops which are see through obviously with a bandeau or bra, I only dress up when I go out AND I’m not always showing “skin” so 90% of the time I’m casual, it’s winter aswell so I’m constantly in jeans, jumpers, shirts, jackets etc.. 

And there is the unspoken rule which I have followed for years of “not too much”, so if I’m wearing shorts I don’t have cleavage out, if I have cleavage out I don’t have a lot leg out etc

I don’t dress for attention, no matter what I wear I get the odd man trying it, but I have made it clear I only want him and how I dress doesn’t change that, he’s made comments that worry me, like you didn’t show me your outfit before you went out, this is not to show him I look good it’s so he can see what I’m wearing and if he doesn’t approve he will voice that, I have told him many times I’m not letting no man tell me how to dress especially when I don’t even dress bad or over the top, he says I look like a whore, a hoe I make him feel sick.

I don’t want to leave him, I’m not changing how I dress, I just want to stop the long arguments about my clothes.

52 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    he knew this about you for 12 years and now that you are official, he wants you to stop? how did you also not see this in him in those 12 years?  

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    • tomster651 month agoReport

      linda, a lot of stupid people go thru this.  'i can change them!' vs 'i can get away with anything cuz they are so stupid in love with me'

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  • 1 month ago

    I am wondering why you are with such a judgmental tool.

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  • 1 month ago

    Calling you names  is  a form of domestic abuse it only gets worse In the future it wont always be just your clothes it will be everything you do. Stick to your guns don't let him get to you. 

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  • Orla C
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    It's not so much the complaining that's a red flag, it's the calling of names and the attempts to control you that are a bit worrying. 

    You don't want to leave him? Maybe you should. He doesn't get to tell you how to dress, he's not your father. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Well you can't have everything you want. He's not okay with you dressing provocatively you either have to change it or break up with him. No one in this life gets everything they want. No offense but you're no different. Now i think he's wrong for calling you out of your name and if he hates how you dress that much then he just needs to end it with you there's no point in you guys staying together if you're both miserable yet refuse to fix it. Just move on.

  • 1 month ago

    If you're going to show 1, you might as well show all you got. Showing a butt cheek is never appropriate. You either got low self esteem, or you want to break up with your guy because you crave attention. I can see why he would feel the way he does about the way you dress because other guys will probably think the same thing.

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    • Ace Shorty
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      Now I will admit that I love looking at the cheeks of a good looking womans' butt, but I don't want my wife showing hers. I don't walk around with my pants  unzipped. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Without seeing them, it is hard to judge

    He should be less controlling but you are unlikely to end the arguments

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I don't know why both of you are together. He thinks you look like a whore, and you make him feel sick, so why is he still with you?

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  • 1 month ago

    This is not looking promising. I am with you in not wanting to be told how to dress, and he seems a little insecure if he feels a need to control this. But you probably would not like some of the clothes he could choose - dirty and untidy, for example. There can probably be some compromises here by each of you: compromise and sacrifice are essential in all relationships. On the other hand, of course, you don't want him to dictate what you wear, because if you do he might expect to dominate you in other ways. Now you may never agree on this matter, so you need to have some serious conversations about it - and compromise in your relationship in general. Acceptance is a key in relationships - more even than understanding. Learn to accept each other and each others' choices and decisions, which shows respect. Discuss such matters of course, but there will be times when you have to agree to disagree - and to compromise and to accept. If you can do these things you are on your way to a great and long lasting relationship. Good Luck!

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You asked this exact same question earlier today😉

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