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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Need advice on a toxic sister?

My younger sister has always been selfish, thinking about herself. She works for the fed government and as adjunct professor for 2 colleges, spend her money, lavishly, and ask her immediate family for money. She asked my mom for money and she paid minimum wages. She talks badly about people. Always call when she needs something. 

Most recently she found out through a close friend that’s in the same sorority chapter as me that there’s a new sorority line. She’s pushing my older sister to join, but directing her to lie about her address. I’m telling her that I don’t want to be involve in this bc if she gets caught my older sister can get in trouble and I don’t want to be involve. She accused me of being mean, unsisterly, and justified it by saying that I done bad things. My younger sister doesn’t see anything wrong with it and says people lie all the time. Everything I told her about it being wrong she try to justify it. I’m to the point that she’s emotionally draining, and wondering if y’all had a situation you had to cut a sibling off a sibling. How did y’all handle this matter?

16 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    Got plenty of family that I had to cut off...toxic family members. It's a no-win situation. If you cut them off it feels bad if you let them abused you it feels bad. The problem is everyone thinks they're right. The second problem is trying to figure out who is and who isn't. The other problem is conflict resolution, not everybody is good at it. And even if you are good at it doesn't mean the other people want to participate.

    The best thing is go ahead create your own family and organize your family the way you want to. Move a good distance away from your dysfunc-tional family and find an outside support network like a church or a some kind of a group as your own personal support network against your family or outside of your family. And try not to get involved with the nonsense as much as possible. There's no easy solution so just do a lot of research on how to deal with difficult people and keep yourself healthy and try not to get involved with the nonsense too much. The drama will continue whether you're physically there or not you could be living on the moon and you'll still get dragged into the drama as long as you're in communication with any of the family.

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    • Sweet_TC1 month agoReport

      ..my sister. I’m at the point in which my peace is important. I don’t want anything or anyone anyone 2 drain my energy, affect my mental/physical health. I can’t change anyone that’s set in their ways and I need to pick & chose my battles. I choose PEACE. Gd thing that I have a great support system

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  • 1 month ago

    I would honestly tell someone who could get her in trouble for it and if she didn't quit being rude and selfish I would cut off contact with her.

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  • 1 month ago

    To me she doesn’t sound that bad. She sounds like a normal human who is not perfect and does some wrong things, but I know actual abusive and cruel people and they make me lose hope in humanity.

    Being selfish is fine but harming, tricking or cheating with others is not. If she makes more money than her mother, and if her mother needs more money in her life, your sister is wrong for asking her for money unless she has a lot of expenses like mortgage and only wants to borrow. But her mother can always refuse to give it to her.

    Maybe she is a type of person who likes to live a good life and is more carefree, but there is nothing wrong with that. It’s her life. About the verbal fights you have with her, if she becomes abusive you have every right to defend yourself against it and the best thing to do is to not spend time around those that disrespect or misunderstand you.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i would just try to stay away from her as much as possible

    • guy1 month agoReport

       bring out the light sabers its time for battle 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I have a sister who stole four house payments from going through on my mortgage...before you say it's not possible I'm telling you she stole my house...I was out of my home of ten years.  She's done a lot of other bad stuff and most of it was amount to stealing and jealousy.   I had lots of problems with half my family so I decided to become estranged from them.  I looked up the legalities and informed them.  About a year later I started having financial problems and didn't have anyone to turn to so I ended up getting forclosed.  I also ended up homeless after three years of living on the streets I finally contacted my family and they took me in.  I don't like being here but I can't afford to leave unless I get back on my feet.  Also they needed my help taking care of a child so that's how I spend my days.  I'm on social security and offer fourteen hundred dollars a month to help out but they don't know how to manage money.  I'm not sure if I will have a place to stay much longer with the way things are.  We both have bad credit one reason I can't afford my own place and they have less money than me.

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  • 1 month ago

    They say blood is thicker than water, but the full phrase is that the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. If this persons combined 1. Personality and2. The Sum of the experiences you’ve had together so far would not cause you to be her friend if you WEREN’T related, then you don’t need to be her friend by any stretch. Family means nothing if they are toxic and drag you down, you have to surround yourself with people that lift you up and bring you joy, not just people you feel you’re required to be around because of family ties. Cutting off a sibling after years of knowing them and in our very strict world where sometimes “cutting off” a family member can be seen as bad, since many grew up in perfect families and only like to judge others for doing what’s best in situations they could never understand can be difficult, but know whatever decision you end up making for your betterment will be the right one. Best of luck.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I have a brother and I had no choice but to sever all ties with him.

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  • 1 month ago

    I just quit having anything to do with him.

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  • 1 month ago

    i would just stay away from her as much as possible and if youre over 18 move out

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I'm surprised this is about a female rather than a male considering all the benefits god gives women.

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