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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Is my partner being unreasonable?

me and my girlfriend had a baby a few months ago. We recently had a discussion about grandparents baby sitting when our daughters a little older and my girlfriend expressed that she doesn’t want my mom babysitting for a very long time

My mother is a recovering alcoholic who still drinks. I understand sort of why my gf would be a little bit concerned but she’s making it seem like it’s ‘her way or no way’. I think she’s being very unreasonable and harsh. This is my mother and my child’s grandmother. I want her to have a relationship with her.

My gf can’t stand my mother, she’s expressed her opinion on her many times. She does have a lot of problems, my mom, she’s disabled due to alcohol abuse from being a raging alcoholic years ago. She can’t really do much heavy lifting and still does drink occasionally.

What do you think? Is my gf out of order? She says she’s just being a good mother and anyone else would agree.

15 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    "My mother is a recovering alcoholic who still drinks."  A recovering alcoholic abstains from drinking.  They don't continue to drink.  Your girlfriend isn't being unreasonable especially if your mother still drinks.  I wouldn't want my newborn around her unless there's adequate supervision.

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  • 1 month ago

    I wouldn't of been leaving any of my kids with my mother if she was/is still an alcoholic. I couldn't agree with her anymore and I certainly don't blame her for being that way. It's better to be safe than sorry.

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  • 1 month ago

    Your child's mother has a good head on her shoulders.  If your mother is an alcoholic that is struggling with sobriety, taking care of an infant by herself may cause her more stress and cause her to drink more.  I would say to let her visit with her grandchild frequently, but don't give her the responsibility of babysitting.

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  • 1 month ago

    Well, being parents in a relationship is about being a team, compromising and working together for the best of the family.

    Idk what your gf knows about alcoholics, what she's seen of your mother, what her beliefs and opinions are, etc. But of course she has concerns of your mother babysitting!!!

    As an adult, your first priority is for your child, then your gf, then your mother. Your mother comes last.

    Let the issue go for now. after a few months, talk about going out on a date night for a couple hours. See how your mom does. Let your gf be as concerned as she wants to be. Remember, you have a helpless baby to protect. Let her be concerned.

    You poo-pooing her concerns will only make her more defensive, more concerned becuase you are not.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    not really, i wouldnt want someone drinking if they were taking care of my baby

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Mom can be "recovering" or "still drinks", not both. Your baby mama is right about this one but the fact that you both got this far without having discussed it beforehand indicates a real lack of communication in your relationship. Guessing you're very young and this pregnancy wasn't planned so get yourselves into a parenting class so you can learn how to do this. You now have to make the transition from being someone's son first and foremost to being someone's father. Your daughter's safety is more important than your mother's feelings. Although maybe this will be the motivation she needs to actually get sober and stay that way.

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  • 1 month ago

    Are you serious? You would feel comfortable leaving a baby with a person who is actively alcoholic (if she's drinking, she's not in recovery) and has physical disabilities preventing her from caring for another person? Really?

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  • 1 month ago

    First of all, a recovering alcoholic does not drink. If my mother in law drank excessively there's no way I would want her to watch any of my children. Your wife is a smart lady. Follow her advice.

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  • Eva
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    She is not out of line. She's worried that your mother will be drinking and not paying attention to the baby. She should still get to visit with the baby, but they should be supervised visits.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Your girl friend has valid reason, but she needs to be respectful tooo.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Troll smarter, not harder.

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